People enter into long-term alliances and relationships for a specific purpose, whether it is friendship or a marriage. You enter into wedlock primarily for stability, while friendships are forged for sharing opinions and viewpoints, enjoying good times together and for mutual networking and support.
For any relationship to work, the vital ingredients are trust, love, understanding, patience, kindness and generosity. But the most vital factor that determines the longevity of a relationship is whether both sides allow each other to be who they are.
Usually at some point in a relationship, dependency raises its head and people start controlling each other to fulfil their needs. This can put a lot of emotional stress/weight on the other party, who has to bend backward to please the partner, instead of being their natural self. With time such relationships unravel as the partners start to drift apart. When I say allow them to be their natural self, I mean to live in a state of complete non-judgement. Whether it is a marriage or a childhood friendship, each member should flow as per his unique identity and not try to change the others.
5 keys to build successful relationship :
- Don’t control – there are times when the other person is absorbed in his priorities and may ignore you. Be understanding and let them be.
- Respect who they are and what they do. Allow them to remain themselves, accepting their choices, behaviour and actions unconditionally and with respect.
- Don’t have high expectations. A joyful relationship is one where people live who they are without expectations from the others
- Live as naturally as you wish to live. Your unique fragrance will lend a unique aroma to the relationship. Don’t try to please/compromise/sacrifice because the other person wants you to change.
- Respecting each other means having your own identity and boundaries, while honouring the boundaries of others.