My Children dont seem to live up to my expectations

As a parent you feel responsible for your children However the fear of not meeting your goals as parents, where one of your goal is being responsible for their studies, makes you Control your children. The moment you go into this loop of Control, you lose a real sense of power over a situation where you could have make a meaningful change. When you take a position of control, you go into more fears and illusions. These are:

• Fear of losing control
• Fear of not being the ideal parent
• Fear of not helping the child to the fullest
• Fear of giving the child free will.

You end up being frustrated, fearful, disoriented and angry. Your reactions and controlling nature, block the intelligence of the person you are controlling. In this case, the person being controlled is your own child, for whom you want the best. But because you have created a relationship of control because of your own expectations, fears and illusions, you tend to block the intelligence of your child. And he cannot think for himself and therefore will not be able to distinguish right from wrong….and will continue with his detrimental behaviour.

From a child’s perspective it is not good to be controlled by the parent. Firstly, they feel misunderstood, then slowly lose self-confidence and finally their intelligence too gets blocked and they face repeated failures in their education when parents come across as too pushy. A child too has to release ‘being controlled’. To do that he has to:

• Remove the unknown fear of going against the parents
• Remove the guilt of disappointing his parents.
• Realize that it is his right to think for himself.

Finally as parents you want the best for your children. It is in the best interest of the child that you stop being the Controlling. The relationship with your children should also be looked as a partnership of support with unconditional love, where both are equal partners.

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