We compare ourselves, our achievements, our family, our lifestyle our bank balance etc. to others, and in this quest we tend to lose out on our inner peace.
Comparison a vicious trap: Comparison literally means, finding out the differences and similarities between two or more people or things. When you compare you feel lesser than the other and at times feel higher than the other. This leads to pleasure and pain and aligns you to ego.
“Comparison is a liar who says our best won’t ever be good enough. Measuring your success through comparison is a recipe for failure. “
Comparison makes you
1. ‘Forget your Why’. When you see others getting famous or having financial success, you worry why you are not achieving it. It makes you forget that the profession you are following is of your liking and it has its own parameters of fame and financial flow. It makes you compare happiness and love with material things. You tend to wish that you were him/her. By comparing you also fail to celebrate and rejoice the victories of others and many times yours and thus, lose on to the joy life offers you.
2. Gets You Demotivated and Impatient: I know of a neighbor who was happy and content till he had a school reunion and found that his close friends were earning much higher than him. For me and many others, he was still successful in what he did, but he no longer valued that. Comparison makes you run to the next moment with goals and targets and you forget the bliss of the present moment.
3. Makes You Low on Self Esteem: You wonder why people get success easily in personal and professional life while you are stuck and start wondering what is wrong with you. You call them “lucky” and thus ignore the hard work they would have done to get there. When you align to emotions of helplessness, fear and frustration, you lose out on the wisdom to learn and grow and achieve your desires.
4. Comparison creates Separation: It creates the divide between you and others. If you feel you are lesser, you become timid, shy and dependent. If you feel you are higher than them, you reject them out of ego.
The word “Comparison” itself is an illusion when applied to people. Can we compare a mango to an apple or a fish? A post in Instagram of someone modeling could invite several million likes while an inspirational and thought provoking post by you could have just very few views. It is about the ratio of people who understand your subject or are drawn to that subject and not about the value of what you are expressing.
A peanut seller will have thousands of clients while an exotic fruits seller will have few people who appreciate his business. A person who sells clothing for the masses will be famous, while something who is dressing up the royalty could be behind the curtains. Every person in this world is born with a unique identity. With this, he performs a unique role play and is given physical features, family environment, taste preferences, likes and hobbies and other circumstances to support that role play. Every person is facing his own challenges and writing his/her own exam with a unique exam paper. Instead of using the word ‘compare’, let us use the word ‘contrast’.
Let us start observing how contrasting people are to us and get inspired by them. See the methods and efforts they took to reach where they have, and see how you can emulate that in your unique identity. Rejoice in their success and their unique selves and their unique roles. It is fun to have no one to compare with but ourselves.